This song was written around June 17, 2023, when I was in the beginning stages of going through my deliverance. It was a very tough time — extremely tough. The war was real. And the war in my marriage was also real.
I was browsing a website looking for gospel music tracks, and I got this beat. I wrote this song from beginning to end by Holy Spirit power. I was under the influence of the Holy Spirit when I wrote it. All the lyrics just came to me from the Holy Spirit as I was singing. I didn’t practice. I didn’t write the lyrics down or anything. I was pouring out my heart to God.
“I’ll take the cup of suffering, just like the King.”
In this song, you will hear an extremely important lyric — those words right there. God told me and reminded me of this lyric, because after I said that and after I wrote this song, the next month my husband Norman and I had to leave our apartment. We were not kicked out — we had to leave because we were not able to afford the rent.
We left from New Bern, North Carolina, and we went to Raleigh, North Carolina — an hour away — so that I could look for work, because I wasn’t able to find work in New Bern. After staying in an Airbnb for about a week, we moved into a home. And there, the greatest training and lesson that my husband and I have ever experienced took place.
But God told me later on — about maybe two years later — that I gave Him permission. Because I offered to take the cup of suffering like His Son did. I made a joke with God. I said I didn’t even know what I was saying. And I had no clue when I said that lyric what I was actually saying. I was just fresh, going through and walking with God, walking in repentance, and dealing with all the demonic agreements that were in my bloodline.
When I said that, it gave Him permission. It gave Him authority. It gave Him a legal right to do a great and mighty work in my life. It was totally brutal — but it was necessary, so that I could be at the base of His throne, at His feet, so I could jump in His lap if I wanted to, so that I could jump on His shoulders. And I don’t have to wait until I get into heaven. I could do it right now — by faith.